do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
