he puts the penis in happiness.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
