so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
