Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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