Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
