so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
