Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Vodka?
Forever.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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