i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
