I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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