My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
