How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
