it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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