He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
