went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize