I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I'm bleeding and have questions
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
