i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
