for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
