Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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