i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Randomize
