I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
