At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize