hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
