I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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