We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
