While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
