i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
