i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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