u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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