Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
