yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
