before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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