idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
