What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
one might say we're banned from that church
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Randomize
