you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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