Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
