She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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