scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
