Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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