Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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