So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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