i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Randomize