i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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