I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
