do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
