There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
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