ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Just cropdusted the office
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
