Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
