I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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