Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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