She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
