I'm going to jail i love you
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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