Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
