YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
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