Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
