i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
home. puking in laundry basket.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
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