it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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