It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
