it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize