a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
