Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
