I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
she peed on how many people?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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