Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
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