I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize