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small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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